There are loads of things to do in NYC – the feature that keeps a lot of people in their house with Netflix and away from the venue is the cost and time factor. Thank the heavens for my gig with Frommer’s, which requires me to check out tons of great stuff happening in the city. Last night I went to the New York Philharmonic for the first time. Its like the Statue of Liberty for home-grown NYers – always there, so why bother going?

The music was beautiful – how could it not be? I kept thinking of all the hours these musicians spent in their bedrooms doing scales and practicing songs so that they could get this good. Playing in this venue was like Madison Square Garden for rock stars.

At one point I closed my eyes to try to get a Fantasia-effect. You’ve seen the movie right? The one where the animators at Disney smoked a few and made cartoons to visually accompany classical music? That one. I figured, hey, maybe by letting my mind run free I’ll get the same effect.

And boy, did it get trippy. Bright colors, figures dancing…Then I dropped into a semi-sleepy mode and then all sorts of folks started coming in and out of focus…And like any out of the ordinary dream I couldn’t remember a damn thing when I woke up. When my eyes opened I was dazed in a refreshed and stimulated state, which makes me think that the music was damn good.

Yesterday The New York Times featured an article about Fashion Week called “Muscling In on the Front Row.” What was the issue? Well, there was a rumor last week that The Situation, Snooki and friends might grace the fashion world with their presence. Snooty high fashion meets overdone tans and hot pink nails. Worlds collide.

Which makes me think about going to college. I grew up and went to school with The Situation and Snooki prototypes. Imagine for one second being stuck in a classroom with them for twelve years. I practically ran up to Connecticut, clamoring to find a more worldly crowd. But lo, there was an issue. Namely my accent and life experience set me apart and made it hard to blend into Welseyan. My fellow collegiate schoolmates talked about traveling in Europe, I spoke about “The Boulevard”; they spoke about high culture, I pointed out every “dirty slut” that came sauntering past; they responded to outrage with op-eds, I thought that we should just kick the offender’s ass. And never ever never could I saw “water” without someone laughing. Urgh.

There was an adjustment period that lasted until Senior Week four years later. I never wanted to be like Snooki, but I being birthed in guido-land meant that I came out with some of their habits. It was a lonely four years. Only rarely did I meet another student in college who could understand where I was coming from. Everyone else thought my life experience was “sooooo interesting” and “fascinating aspect of culture” – like a circus animal.

This experience makes me wonder about the cast of “Jersey Shore”. From first-hand experience I know that when people find you entertaining for how “guido” (which is not the same as Italian – see this post for a full explanation) you are the laugh is at you, not with you. When they go to high-profile events such as Fashion Week do they feel the sarcasm in people’s interest in them? How do they feel about that? Although the characters are not known for their intelligence, they are certainly not oblivious. They love the attention, but do they care that it is at their expense? I would like that they do.

And suddenly, I’m empathizing with Snooki.

After attending a baby shower at Lenny’s Clam Bar two Sundays ago I set out to find what the citizens of my beloved hometown, Howard Beach, thought of the hoopla and drama. Is “Jersey Shore” a bad representation of Italian-Americans and should we be offended?

Interview Anyone?
Most people I tried to talk to wouldn’t comment when I asked them about Jersey Shore. Generally, people here are weary of the media because press coverage in the past has colored the entire neighborhood as racist. So they don’t trust outsiders to understand them. But, uh, what the hell? I’m grew up on 85th Street! Rollerbladed up and down these streets in my teens, hung out at Smitty’s as soon as I got a fake ID and still come back for Sunday dinner. However, the Frye boots and the short hair cut gave me away as an escapee. Damn it! I should have worn my Uggs! You see, although I am technically an “insider” to Howard Beach by birth, I chose to not follow the pack in dress, lifestyle and vocation. So now I am outsider. But, does that by default make me less Italian?

The only person who agreed to be interviewed said in a huff: “That show is offensive to Italian Americans…and please, those people are not even real Italians.”

Pause. Thinking. Enlightenment.

They are not representing Italians – at all! In fact, MTV’s description on their website does not include the word “Italian” as a descriptor. Jersey Shore has nothing to do with Italians but everything to do with guido culture!

Origins of guido-hood
Two years ago I went on a discover-your-roots trip to Italy. I was a little worried that I would be overwhelmed by the machismo that I abhorred in Howard Beach growing up. What I found: there was no reason to worry! The only person I saw who resembled the hair-gel laden prototypes from NY was an angry passenger on a flight to Sicily whom everyone rolled their eyes at and tried to ignore. But, isn’t this the homeland? Isn’t it supposed to be crawling with evidence of the origins of Italia-NY-style? Apparently something has gone drastically wrong in America in the way Italian culture has been translated.

I read a cultural critic who said something that makes sense of this issue: the 1st generation of Italians tried to forget what the 2nd and 3rd generations try to reclaim. One day I observed this in comparing the mannerisms of three generations animatedly talking (or arguing?) Italian Americans in front of me. My grandfather moved his hands with a steady powerful grace. My father put a little more omph into gesturing. While my brother was a site to be mimicked on Saturday Night Live.

How did Italian-American culture devolve from lively hand gestures to fist pumping and crotch grabbing? My dad swears that “The Godfather” is to blame. To quote: “Before that movie 18th Avenue [Bensonhurst, Brooklyn] was Italian, then it became grease-ball.” Bingo! It stopped being Italian and it started to become something else. Guido, greaseball – whatever term you use it – the rise of mafia obsession marks the beginning of a new culture. Without many other non-mafia Italian media icons the second and third generation Italians were left clutching a plate of meatballs, watching The Trilogy on repeat and desperately searching for shards of identity.

After terms like “WOP” and “garlic eater” went out of style to mock Italians we were (and are) encouraged to assimilate into mainstream white America. However, most of us we grew up with a culture that makes us different. When I went to college I didn’t quite fit in because I was always having to explain why I refused to say “mani-cotti” rather than “mani-got”. My brother’s take: “Well, I’m not white.” I disagree but his comment reflects a feeling amongst Italians that we need to differentiate ourselves: if we don’t do something drastic we will simply fit into the masses. “The Godfather” and the like provide examples of strong people who created a community to power in asserting their identity. A logical role model.

Claiming your unique identity is not unfamiliar amongst American culture. A typical high school lunchroom is testament to the differentiation: punks in one corner, stoners in another…. Where I went to high school Italians were just another subset. My friend Ari said it best: “Being a guido is just like when I wore platform pumas and three pairs of ripped pantyhose to raves.” And just like the early punk culture is similar, yet signficantly different than what we see in Hot Topic, so to has guido culture started out as Sonny-imitators and turned into gold chain wearing shades of red, white and green.

One fact about Howard Beach that most fail to realize is that there is a large percentage of the population that is NOT Italian. And there is also a portion that does not ascribe to guido cultural norms. But, a lot do. And a lot of non-Italians do as well. That is because being a guido is a social group, like being a cheerleader. The trends and tastes (and rah-rah-eyyoohhs) are contagious. When you enter Howard Beach the guido cultural imperative is like a haze that infests that tiny neighborhood. And when I walk in obviously not ascribing to those norms people see me as an outsider, but that doesn’t make me less Italian, just not a guido. So, when UNICO and the like get all up in arms about how Italian’s look when poor Snookie gets punched in the face they are making a moot point – Jersey Shore does not represent Italians, but they tell you a hell of a lot about guidos.